I felt so heart broken and kept praying to God about this. Well, about a month later I received my results, as expected I washed out the semester. But I decided to trust in God and his plans. And then, here comes the miracle! the government of Tamil Nadu announced reexams for all the engineering UG/PG students as the anna university method of examination was not good and most of the students had failed in the examination. It was like a dream. The re-examination was held as open book exam and I wrote all my 4 subjects again. This was one of the biggest miracles. I mean how many times you get to write re-examination? - I utterly believe it’s God’s miracle! Now my spiritual life, I lost my grandma this year. As she was the one who stayed with me for over a year, her absence was very hard for me to handle. And also, I’ve never witnessed anyone’s death in front of me. In God’s grace she had a peaceful rest. When my grandma passed away, I felt a lot of mixed emotions, the emotions I was not able to make people understand. I was not able to sleep for months drowning in these emotions. It was fear, guilt, sadness, and void. It was so complicated. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I took sleeping pills under doctor's advice. But when I had to stop taking pills, I again was not able to sleep.As it was during covid, I was not able to go out for a distraction. But then I realized my distraction is supposed to be God.
As I didn’t have the habit of praying or reading bible every day, I started to adapt that habit every night. I started reading bible and praying. I was not relieved from the emotions I was going through but I felt a comfort, a comfort where I can share my feelings. As days went by, one day God gave me two verses, “Isaiah 53:5 – the chastisement of our peace was upon him “& “roman 8:15 – for ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear”. I’ve been praying to God to give me peace and take away the fear in me. And these verses spoke with me. The habit of praying every day fills you with inexpressible peace and secureness. Eventually, we started family prayers every night. My spiritual life changed a lot from this experience. I still need to change many things for God, but with him, by my side, I will be strong enough to overcome everything.Finally, my personal life. Becoming strong in my spiritual life made a lot of changes in Our personal life. We were facing a lot of difficulties in our personal life. As we became stronger in Christ, we stopped worrying and started praying. I would like to share some of the blessings I witnessed in my personal life. After my grandma passed away, my mom who begun cattle farming in one our land had to come back to Chennai. She sold most of the cattle and brought home some rabbits, goats, and hens. Which started causing a bad smell in our neighbourhood. Our tenant decided to vacate from our house. Which was one big downfall for us.
We had a lot of plans with the rent, like paying the debt, loan, chit, my college fees. One of the tenants moved and we had to return the advance. All of a sudden, we had nothing and didn’t know what to do. People started asking us for money and we literally had my salary alone, which was not enough. After 2 months we were in a need of some amount of money. That night we prayed regarding this. The next day the other tenant who informed us that they are vacating changed their mind and gave us the past 2 months’ rent at once. Trust me or not that was nearly the amount of cash we prayed for. We managed to pay off everyone with God’s grace. Days later again a financial crisis. We had to pay 5000rs electricity bill.By that time after paying off everyone, we had no money, literally no money at all. All we could do was pray and we prayed. Two days later I received a call from a stranger, asking for two-wheeler training (I am a two-wheeler trainer too). We were so grateful to God but still that cash was not enough and again we kept in prayer. The next day the stranger again called and asked if I can give training to another person too. And sent me the fees which was enough to pay our electricity bill.
There are many more blessings I’ve been receiving. You know, when you realize that God is always by your side, nothing can shake you. When God stands by your side, the peace, glory, blessings, happiness, love you receive cannot be compared with anything.
If you ever doubt God, if you ever think of giving up. Here’s my testimony. I am so grateful and happy that God is using me as his testimony. And this is not it, there’s more on the way. Praise be to God’s name
Sis. Dephne Sharon